


He will be loved

by 20thcenturypeach



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-21 21:44:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17650445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/20thcenturypeach/pseuds/20thcenturypeach
Summary: Armie and Timmy have a son, Timmy is on drugs and Armie struggles to help him and stay in the relationship.(They are not famous in this)





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of things you absolutely need to know before reading this story so your not confused or wondering.
> 
> \- They live in the same house as in the beautiful boy movie where nic and his family lived 
> 
> \- In this story boys can get pregnant, the child is biologically Timmy and armies 
> 
> \- Timmy is 23 in this story   
> Armie is 33  
> Max is 5 played by younger Jacob trembly   
> Armies sister (lily) is 26 played by Emma Roberts (she will enter the story soon)
> 
> \- they are not famous in this 
> 
> \- Something will happen to timothée later in the story so that’s why I put the archive warning as it is

Armies p.o.v

Timmy.

A name I used to love saying, the name held so much love and happiness but now I’m hesitant to mention those 5 letters, the name now holds uncertainty, anger, and sadness.

I met timothée when he was 17. We had a one night stand and we ended up pregnant and had a baby because we weren’t careful. His parents kicked him out because he was gay and pregnant. so I let him stay with me considering I was well off and we had thankfully kept in contact. 

I don’t regret that night, everything that happened after that may have been hard but we ended up with a beautiful boy named max. After he told me, I couldn’t leave him, even though we barley knew each other i still couldn’t do that. Luckily after the pregnancy we truly got to know each other and came to love each other. I always cherished my time with him. God he was so beautiful. Curly hair that had a mind of its own, freckles that scattered his nose, goofy smile, his skin tone almost as pale as snow but not quite. Only this time around those features are dulled.

Timmy started using hard drugs when max was 3 and a half he’s 5 now. Most of my nights were and still are spent worrying and being angry but feeling so sympathetic at the same time. I always tried to let him do what he wanted while high or wanting to get high because I didn’t want him to hurt himself or anyone else. He stole money from my wallet, wrote checks from my office, sometimes things would go missing from the house because when I would catch him or deny him any money he would sell things. I remember one time max had a little piggy bank and I had found out that Timmy stole the money from it to get coke, he confessed from the guilt, he cried to max apologizing. Max just hugged him and told him it’s ok. I was so angry and ultimately about to be done with him but every-time he would cry and apologize I would just break and continue to let him live in the house and be around max while using. He never brought anything in the house luckily and only used while out somewhere. When he came to the door and knocked on it or just walked in, I would check his pockets, pants, hoodies, anywhere so that he wouldn’t smuggle anything in, I absolutely would not have the physical form of his addiction around max.

Just over the past year and a half is when max had been exposed to Timmy’s behavior while high and has witnessed him scream and get angry and throw things and cry and puke and relapse whenever he tried to get clean.

I think that the drugs came from Timmy’s past, dealing with what had happened and his parents and he was so young carrying so much weight on his shoulders that he could only ward off the emotional pain for so long then broke and coped with the wrong thing. 

Through all that though I still remembered some of the good and I still knew he loved us dearly under everything. I remember all the great things we liked to do together. I remember him taking max to the beach and playing like a little kid with him until the water got to cold and teaching him how to surf. I remember that cafe heliked to write at down the street and the specific drink he got. I even remember saying his favorite scenes word for word out loud when we watched his favorite movies. What I would give to have all that back again, but I know it’s not his fault, he was in pain and I wish I knew how to deal with this. I would have married him by now but things happened and I’m trying so hard to help him. I wish he was there with us mentally but hes just there physically, like a ghost. Just a hollow body sitting at the dinner table, his mind and spirit is elsewhere and has moved onto something else. 

Please come back.


	2. 2

Timmy's p.o.v 

 

I ended up pregnant at 17. It was a one night stand of course. The mans name was armie, he was handsome, older, and charming. We went back to his place and after that one time I became a parent and had to grow up very quickly. To this day I am so grateful that he gave me his number if I ever needed anything. He was the nicest guy I ever hooked up with, he gave me family and safety and unconditional love.

And I needed that number after my parents kicked me out. They were hugely religious and they both just followed their parents beliefs and didn't think for themselves. That's why I always hated family dinners, I would have to sit and listen to bigots spew their shit. My views were so incredibly different than my family's. 

When I told them I was gay and that I was carrying, their disgust with me was obvious. They kicked me out and I hated myself for being both of those things for a long time but when max was born and I was holding him everything went away, the pain, the hatred, the sadness, everything. I was not going to be my parents, I was gonna raise max wrapped in love and support and non judgmental words. 

I remember almost crying when I knew Armie was gonna be there for the birth. He took me in and helped me with the pregnancy all the way and I wanted to cry everyday out of gratefulness, I would never be able to repay him. He took me in when we barley knew each other, he took me in when I was about to be living on the streets pregnant and he took me in when I needed love and care. 

After the pregnancy we took the time to care about each other and fell in love. I didn't feel like it was bound to be just a one night stand. I cared for him so much and his hands on my skin made me feel so safe. 

Eventually things fell apart though. I was at a get together with some high school friends while Armie was at home with max and got drunk out of my mind, some one ended up having coke with them and it was an in the moment thing. One night fucked up everything for me. I regret it and feel so guilty everyday. 

I really started to use hard drugs when max was 3 and a half. I tried to ignore the emotions I was feeling for so long but they kept biting at me and I couldn't take it anymore and ended up coping with drugs. I hate myself so much for doing this to my family, max and Armie shouldn't have to suffer because of my mess of a head and the fact that I can't get my shit together.

I feel like I have failed them and I have failed at being better than my parents in another form. I am hurting them everyday when I come home stumbling or high or drunk or puking or having an outburst. 

I want myself back, I want my family back, and I want life back. I've been rotting for the past 2 and half years, just decaying and suffering and causing others pain and sadness. I hated knowing that Armie had to explain some of the stuff I was doing to max, I hated that he has to explain why I don't come home some nights or why I didn't attend this school event.

If I don't change soon, I know drugs will be the death of me. You would think I wouldn't do drugs and I would stop because I had max and Armie and I cared for them, well I do but my brain tells me so many other dark things and I do the drugs anyway, there the only thing that numbs me and they shouldn't be. 

Human bodies and brains and how they work is so complex and weird and fucked up. I want to die sometimes, well I kinda am slowly but killing myself would be instant and everything would be over with quickly but I would never do that, I would take dying slowly and trying to get better over and over than killing myself. I could never do that to the people who gave me everything.

Even through my drug induced haze I still get glimpses and visions of the happier times, when everything was so domestic and normal. I miss sitting at the dinner table engaged in full conversations, I miss going to beach and swimming for hours, I miss hearing Armie and Max's laugh after we played a silly game inside while it rained. 

I will keep fighting even if it means getting defeated over and over. I will do it for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is when everything will get started and you will see into Timothées dark time. I just wanted to take the first two chapters to have Armie and Timmy explain everything. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also to anyone readying my other work “after dark” that will be updated within the next few days, it’s a long chapter with a lot of emotions so that’s why it’s taking me a minute 
> 
>  
> 
> Feedback is very much appreciated, hugs ♥️
> 
>  
> 
> \- Lana ♥️

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo im back with more angst and serious topics. 
> 
> One night I was looking through some beautiful boy scene pictures online, and I saw the scene where nic was going to surf with his younger brother and this idea immediately came to my head like I had a full story line in about 5 minutes. I’ve been preparing this for days making sure everything was cleaned up and made sense. I’ve done research so just know I’m not winging it and I am fully aware of what I’m writing. 
> 
> I personally have a family member who is on drugs on and off, so this is kind of a way for me to cope and to put my knowledge out there. 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the story 
> 
>  
> 
> Feedback is very much appreciated, hugs ♥️
> 
>  
> 
> \- Lana ♥️


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